Sunday, May 17, 2015

9 Superhero Movie Cliches

For this list, we have found 9 things you see in almost every superhero movie. Keep in mind I love these movies, and this is severe nitpicking.

#1 They only use their most effective move when things get dire. Remember when you would play those fighting video games like Super Smash Brothers, and you figure out the one power that your character can do that is better than any of his other powers? Then remember how that is the only one you do from then on? So my question is, why doesn't Thor just stand at the top of a building and call down lightning from the heavens all the time instead of just hitting people with his hammer and punching guys? Why doesn't Hawkeye only carry exploding arrows? Why doesn't Ironman always use that one function on his suit that shoots all the bad guys and avoids all the good guys? Why doesn't the girl in X-men Days of Future Past who can create portals just always have one created right in front of her so the bad guys cant get her, ever? I mean, efficiency people.

#2 The superheroes always have powers not known to the audience. So why can this girl in X-men who can run through walls also send people back in time in their minds? What can the Scarlet Witch do exactly? Create red energy balls and also control people's minds? When can the Hulk and when can't the Hulk control his anger? Can Thor fly? When does he need the rainbow road and when doesn't he need the rainbow road to get back to Asgard? Mystique can change into other people. Can she also slide on the floor without any momentum? Why was Starlord able to hold the stone and not die in Guardians of the Galaxy? Just team work? Does Captain America have shield throwing powers? I guess I need to collect their trading cards with their stats.

#3 In the end, the bad guy always dies in a way that could have, and should have killed him way earlier on in the movie. Are you telling me that Superman punching Zod into outer space, or crushing a skyscraper on top of him didn't break his neck, but twisting his neck did? In Avengers Age of Ultron, the Vision uses the same laser on Ultron to kill him in the end that he used on him five times before that. Guess there is a time and a place.

#4 The heroes always care a lot about the innocent people they have met or seen, but don't seem to care about the innocent people they haven't met or seen. In Man of Steel, Superman breaks Zod's neck because he is about to kill a family. However, earlier he didn't care when Zod threw an oil tanker into a sky scraper and knocked half the city down, killing ten's of thousand's of people. In the end of Avengers Age of Ultron, there doesn't seem to be much accountability for Tony Stark when he is single handedly responsible for an entire city being destroyed. But hey, that little boy in the end got saved. I guess the general feeling is, so long as the people we saw with our own eyeballs don't die, sure, let's knock that skyscraper down. I'm sure there is no one in it.

#5 They can never just have a decent relationship with their significant other. I mean, just date her already! Quit being pouty and worrying about her, and just be her boyfriend! Bad things happen! Keep it a secret so the bad guys don't figure it out, I don't care. But it seems like the more secret they try to keep it, the more danger the girlfriend is in. But if for no other reason, just get together so the viewers don't have to keep watching all of Peter Parker's girlfriends sob the whole movie, and we can leave the theater with a light and happy feeling inside rather than a depressed mopey feeling.

#6 The bad guys always manage to get a bunch of cronies to follow them in their scheme, even when the cronies know full well that the main bad guy may kill them at any time. In the Dark Knight Rises, Bane busts everyone out of the Black Gate prison, but that doesn't mean that they all want to get blown up with an atomic bomb. I mean, some of those guys may have just been in for assault or robbery. I don't think they want to just be thrown in the same boat with a guy who has taken over the whole city and is going to blow everyone including himself up with a bomb. That is just me though. Iron Man 3 addresses this point in a pretty funny way. Check it out here at 2:22.

#7 No one ever just uses a gun. Honestly, even with all the powers the superheroes have, a gun is sometimes just the most effective tool. Yes, it is cool that Batman refuses to kill anyone. But at some point, Batman has a responsibility to do so. I mean, this is war man! Bane has a nuclear bomb and he is going to blow the whole city up! Go buy a freaking gun, and shoot that guy! Quit punching him, and kill him, or he is going to kill millions of people! I've got the same problem with Harry Potter. Sure, Voldemort can't be shot because of the horcruxes and all, but all his cronies? I mean, expelliarmus isn't working anymore people! Go buy a machine gun, and take care of this problem! (For other Harry Potter observations, click here.)

#8 No one figures out the hero's secret identity. If my spouse, brother, or even friend were wearing a mask and talking to me point blank, I would be able to tell it was them instantly. A mask or a voice change isn't going to do the trick. Mystery Men has a funny scene about this. To watch it, click here.

#9 Maybe not a cliche, but have you ever noticed that sometimes the bad guy's reason for being bad is kind of understandable? I am not condoning violence or anything, but put yourself in their shoes! All Harry Osbourne wanted was a little bit of Spiderman's blood. Is that too much to ask? They were friends! Bruce Wayne, in an attempt to not become an executioner, burns Ra's al Ghul's house down and kills all of his friends. Of course he wants revenge! Doc. Oc's wife was killed in an experiment, and the experiment took over his brain. Does he even really have control over that? General Zod was programmed from birth to save his people, and Superman stole that from him. I mean, I would be mad too! Trask and the rest of the American government is concerned in X-men that people who have the ability to stop time, control metal, or walk through walls will perhaps do something bad. I mean, in Days of Future Past, I am on their side! In the end, no one is like, "Man, we are so glad Mystique was there to save the president." Instead, everyone is like, "A man just dropped a baseball stadium on our heads!"

What other superhero cliches are there? Let us know at, and check out our other cliche lists below.

9 Unrealistic Things We See In Almost Every Movie - Click Here

9 MORE Unrealistic Things We See In Almost Every Movie - Click Here

9 Things We See In Almost Every Romance Movie - Click Here

15 Things We See In Almost Every Disaster Movie - Click Here

9 Nicholas Sparks Movie Cliches - Click Here

9 Action Movie Cliches - Click Here

9 Sports Movie Cliches - Click Here