Tuesday, October 21, 2014

9 Nicholas Sparks Movie Cliches

For this list, in honor of "The Best of Me," we have chosen 9 things we see in every single movie based on Nicholas Sparks books. It seems he has a formula for how he creates these things, and my wife has taken me to enough of them now to see a definite pattern going on.

#1 Letters. A good portion of his movies are made up of people reading letters either to one another, from one another, from someone else about the other, from someone else to the other, from someone else convincing them to still love the other, from the other trying to convince them to still love them, or just your run of the mill sappy love letter. These letters are pervasive in Nicholas Sparks movies, and it is hard to make it through one without hearing one read to you.

#2 The disapproving parents. Parents can be a real drag sometimes. Especially when they are rich and look down upon your less fortunate, less privileged boyfriend. Am I right ladies? Fortunately we will find by the end of the movie that those rich parents end up getting their own or learn their lesson and see the error in their ways. How could they not see from the beginning that this was meant to be?!

#3 The jerk husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. This person has got to be there. They are terrible. They are the worst. They treat their significant other like garbage, are never there for them, and often have some type of alcohol abuse issue going on. Of course, this is all in an attempt to help us excuse infidelity later on between the main two characters because after all, that guy is a jerk, and those two deserve one another!

#4 War or prison. For an extended period of the movie either on or off screen, the guy usually served in the military or served time in a prison. This is often where the letters come into play, but distance makes the heart grow fonder. That separation usually may cause initial hesitation with the relationship or even cause a rift, but no worries, because as soon as they make it back into the picture, we learn that the love was still there all along! Silly us!

#5 The gratuitous shirtless guy scene. You can bet that at some point in the movie, that guy is going to whip off his shirt and do some chores. It may be fixing a car, it may be gardening, it may even be fixing an old leaky pipe. But if the job is going to get done, it is going to be done by a sweaty guy who needs to take that shirt off half way through. And that shirt is not going back on any time soon, because he is going to leave it off just long enough for all the men in the audience to say, "Give me a freaking break!"

#6 The tragedy. Someone will die. Just wait for it. It might be the person you think, it might not be, but sooner or later, a character will be dead. This death will either effect the relationship positively or negatively depending on what mood old Nicholas was going for, but inevitably, tragedy will strike, and it will strike when you most expect it.

#7 The swimming scene. Lets head down to the old creek, river, lake, stream, or watering hole, because dang it, we need to swim together before this movie is over! "Oh, this water is freezing!" (The two characters make out, exit water, sit wet on a bench hugging.) (End scene).

#8 The domestic abuse. Someone in this movie is going to be abusing someone else. It may be the husband to the wife, the boyfriend to the girlfriend, the dad to the boy, the girl to the boy, etc. Just wait for it, someone is going to be abused verbally or physically, and it isn't going to be pretty. But, I bet if you keep watching, that person will get what is coming to them, you just wait.

#9 The quaint little town. Do you love old rickety, salty fishing towns? What about old, vintagy houses with rusty doors and chipped paint? Do you love frayed rope swings in the brush? How about a nice victorian home with lots of land? Do you love southern towns near old watering holes where you can go to a dirty shack and eat all the lobster you want? Well these quaint little places are what Nicholas Sparks movies are made of, and these movies may be the ones for you!

BONUS #10 The movie posters of the two passionately touching each others faces and almost kissing, but not.

What other things do we see in every Nicholas Sparks movie? Let us know at www.facebook.com/simplefilmcritics!

Also, check out our other list of general romance movie cliches here!