Friday, July 11, 2014

9 Movie Plots That Would Be Ruined By Modern Technology

For this list, we have chosen movies where the lack of modern technology is completely responsible for the plot, and where the plot would be completely destroyed with the advent of said technology.

#1 August Rush. This whole movie is about an orphan trying to find his parents through music, and also about his parents trying to find each other. First of all, there would probably be videos of this kid all over the internet playing music that would have gone viral. Second, his parents would never have lost contact because they would have exchanged cell phone numbers, or just looked each other up on Facebook. The guy could have just said to anyone else at the party, "Hey, what was that one girl's name?" Then go look her up and BOOM, problem solved.

#2 Saving Private Ryan. If they had had cell phones back then, it would have changed everything, obviously. But in this situation, we figure out that this soldier's four brothers have passed away and we need to send him home to his mother. Where is he? Well let's just track him with GPS, or let's call him on his cell phone and ask him. "Private Ryan, your brothers have passed away in the line of duty, and we are terribly sorry. Please come back to base ASAP for reassignment."

#3 Home Alone. "Oh no! We forgot Kevin!" Picks up cell phone or uses plane phone. "Kevin, please go stay at your friend's house until we get home." Calls friend's parents. "We are so sorry about this and feel like idiots, but Kevin is alone at the house and we won't be back for a few days. Could you take him in for a day and be sure he is ok?" Pulls out internet on phone and books a flight for right when they land back to the U.S. Then checks her security app they had installed a few months ago to be sure no burglars are in the home and BAM, problem solved. Thanks cell phones!

#4 The Majestic. "Hey this guy isn't Luke, he is that blacklisted communist movie writer. I just googled him!" BAM! Thanks technology!

#5 Phonebooth. He would never have been in a phone booth, case closed.

#6 Forrest Gump. First of all, this guy being a Medal of Honor winner, a guy who ran across the entire country with a cult following, started the billion dollar franchise Bubba-Gump Shrimp, and was a big-time college football player and national ping pong champion, there is no way anyone on the bench that he is telling stories to doesn't start getting the impression that, "Hey, this is the Forrest Gump I hear about on the internet all the time!" Not only that, Forrest wouldn't keep losing track of Jenny, because a girl like her would definitely have a Facebook, and she would be taking hipster selfies all the time to post to both Facebook and Instagram.

#7 Serendipity. Facebook. BAM! Found her. Problem solved.

#8 You've Got Mail. So maybe it is just something about Tom Hanks movies I guess, but here is another one. First of all, the type of online chatting she is doing probably wouldn't be the way it was in the movie anymore. Second, there is very little chance she is talking to this stranger online without doing some digging into his profile to figure out he is this big-shot bookstore owner that is putting her out of business.

#9 Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Just the scene where he is singing and dancing in the parade would be filmed and have pictures taken of it by thousands who would then go post it to the internet and Facebook, to which it would only take a few minutes for a mutual friend in the city of one of the parade goers to point out that he wasn't at school. (Why was the city having an awesome parade while kids were in school anyways? Isn't that half of a parade's audience?). Second, there is no way Ferris wasn't taking pictures of himself the whole day with his cell phone when he is doing all of this cool stuff. The principal simply needs to have him take his phone out and show him his picture slideshow. Third, his parents could use the Find My Friends app to be sure he is still in bed. But, on the other hand, that stuff he has got going on in his room to make it sound like he is talking, and he hooks it up to the intercom of the house? That stuff is way beyond it's time! So maybe it all evens out.

What other movies would have been ruined if they had had modern technology? Let us know at