Friday, July 18, 2014

9 Movie Plots That Make You Go...Ummm....No...

For this list we have chosen 9 movies that have plots that are a little outrageous for one reason or another. I am not saying I hate all of these movies (I have actually not even seen many of them), but most of these are ones that when I saw the trailer in the theater at first glance, I leaned over to whoever I was with and said, "Well, not paying for that one!"

#1 Red Dawn. At least in the reboot, Korea basically attacks a neighborhood, so a bunch of buddies in the neighborhood fight back. This is basically a plot that Noah and I would have used in a home made movie. "Then we will have Korea attack our hometown in southern Idaho, and we will get our firecrackers and nerf guns to take back what's ours! Give me back my club house Korea!!"

#2 Deep Blue Sea. So, when we as humans are testing a drug that makes animals smarter, what animal should we choose to experiment on? Did we not learn our lesson from the monkeys in Planet of the Apes? I mean how about anteaters? No teeth...if they escape, we can kick them. But no, let's go ahead and use it on huge Mako sharks in an underwater habitat where they will assuredly get free, and we will have no way back to the surface without having to swim where they will eat most of us.

#3 Cowboys and Aliens. They have spaceships, laser guns, can run as fast as cheetahs, and are twice as big as we are. They have the technology to liquify gold out of the ground and suck it up without having to mine it on a foreign planet light years away from their own. What do we have in our arsenal? Revolvers and swords. But it's ok, we teamed up with the Indians, and they had bows and arrows and tomahawks. We had that fight in the bag.

#4 The Purge. I have never seen this, but one night out of the year, all crime is legal, and you can get all of your bad feelings off of your chest by murdering, stealing, or whatever you like. Of course, this one year release automatically makes all terrible people and criminals into upstanding citizens throughout the rest of the year, and we don't need to worry about any crime at all. And this is somehow helping our nation. This plot is insane! One thing is for sure, if all criminals have the patience to hold off on their criminal activity for an entire year, then they have patience enough to do it throughout their whole lifetime, and we should be living in a utopia. Right?

#5 Lady In the Water. Oh Lady in the Water, if only your plot made enough sense for me to pick apart. Imagine M. Night Shyamalan pitching this movie to a studio. I just read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia to get facts to make fun of this movie, and I can't even understand their synopsis! I mean this thing was just an annotated stream of consciousness from a depressed author living on a deserted island! Anyone? The following is a positive rotten tomatoes' critic's quote: "Peevishly defensive, intransigently personal and serenely indifferent to critical reaction." Indifferent to critical reaction?! No wonder studios are now serenely indifferent to financing any more M. Night Shyamalan movies!

#6 Snakes On A Plane. I have never even seen this movie. But...Snakes On A Plane? Come on. This should have been one of the low-budgeted Sci-fi Saturday originals like "Ogre" or "Megalodon Vs. Dinoshark."

#7 A Madea anything. In fact, if Tyler Perry, Martin Lawrence, Robin Williams, or Eddie Murphy are ever dressed up as big old ladies, I am wondering who gave them the financing and who green lit the script in whatever studio is sponsoring them. There are audible groans in the audiences of movies where a Madea trailer shows, so how are they still making them? Most of them have lost millions in production!

#8 After Earth. Never saw this one either, but the movie should be named, "Will Smith wants his son to get famous, and M. Night Shyamalan wants us to forgive him for Lady In The Water." And maybe this is just me, but I don't think either one is going to happen. Will Smith just sits in a ship the whole movie and tells his son what to do. I am pretty sure the only reason people went to see this movie was because Will Smith was in it, but he didn't do very much!

#9 Hunger Games. I know, I know! Don't freak out! I love this movie and these books too! But in my opinion, if in real life the government decided to have a lottery to choose some of our children to go fight to the death on live TV, the rebellion would happen today. Not tomorrow, or 75 years from now. The rebellion would happen that very second, and I think almost everyone I know would be a part of it. Hungry or not, I am not sending my kids to fight to the death.

What other movies have questionable movie plots? What other movies made you groan when you saw the trailer? Let us know and don't forget to like us at