Sunday, June 1, 2014

Dave's Least Favorite Movie: Wall-E

        Remember those Twilight Zones, where someone would wake up and everyone on earth was different but them? No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't figure out what was wrong, and it was like they were the only normal person on the planet? This is how I felt after seeing everyone's reaction to Wall-E. Wall-E managed to pull the wool over everyone's eyes unlike any movie I have ever seen. I am aware this post will be debated, and the bigger the debate the better. :)
        I would sum up Wall-E's plot like this: "A two hour silent filming of a lot of futuristic metal garbage blowing around after the final decimation of a post-apocalyptic society. Also, there is a robot."
        I mean, come on! I waited through an hour of robotic beeps and boops to learn what this movie was going to be about, and to have it end up being a "keep the earth green, and lose weight" propaganda campaign just about did me in. It is sad when your 6 year old nephew who is watching it with you leans over half way through and says, "What is going on?!" What was going on indeed! What is the plot? A robot collects garbage, stacks it, finds a different robot, both robots go into fat person space, and meet an evil steering wheel. The end.

     At least when the little mermaid was collecting garbage in her respective movie, I was entertained by the funny names and catchy songs! I dare you to watch the entire video posted below without skipping. Now try watching it twice... :0
Oh man! So boring! I am just watching him do chores! It is almost as bad as Peter Jackson making me pay to watch dwarves do dishes for 15 minutes, but at least that had singing! I think it is the fact that Pixar made this that makes it so difficult for me. The creators of some of the greatest movies of all time like Toy Story and Finding Nemo also made a movie about a robot doing chores. Talk about a money grab. What makes it worse is that everyone I talk to about it loved Wall-E! They loved it! What in the....what?! I don't understand! I am the guy in the twilight zone! Rotten tomatoes gave it a 96%! One critic said, "You would have to be made of metal for your heart not to melt." What? Ahhhhh!!! Wake me up! I don't understand! Tell me what I am not understanding!